How many of you can help me think of some good lies to put on my Eharmony profile?

Sο far I hаνе thаt I invented thе internet, аm still a virgin coming up οn thе rіght one, аnd I beat Bill Gates аt a chess match.

25 Responses to “How many of you can help me think of some good lies to put on my Eharmony profile?”

  • Smoke my Pole says:

    Tell them hoes you into Twilight books ‘n sh!t. Seem like dem sheep-minded hoes all be into the same dam fad!

    GIT-R-DUN YO!

  • The Fire Inside says:

    “Plays well with others, housebroken”

  • The Fortunate One says:

    Invented toaster strudels, saved the world from dinosaurs and learned fire.

  • The Dark Knight says:

    I hope that you’re not paying to do this

    In any case
    You’re Jesus Christ
    You like the smell of your own farts (although that may be right anyways lol)

  • julia says:

    you forgot sweet , caring, and down-to-earth

  • dead sexy says:

    tell them your dead sexy

  • porcelanplugger says:

    lol
    probably the rarest ‘animal’ in North America, seldom seen by day, breeding only during winter electrical storms; I enter my den by financial help in, keeping mind for predators. I am known to have a pleasing voice; often accompaning cowboys singing to their cattle at night, usually assuming the bass part. I am normally peaceful, but coyotes and wolverines avoid me with a healthy respect for my knife-like claws, and my 7′ 4″ 325# devilishly handsome physique!

  • Virtual_Me! says:

    u were the drummer in some well-known rock band??

  • Jewels says:

    You’re mormon and already have 2 wives but are looking for a few more hotties to join the clan?

  • Undo D says:

    u went back in time and stopped the jfk assignation but his head blew up from ure awesomeness

  • tnuc_denots_gnikcuf says:

    change bill gates to gary kasparov, and say bill gates is just your puppet… you throw him scraps for being the figurehead and taking all the public heat. you’re the real numero uno of the giant consumer rip off called microsoft.

  • long islander says:

    tell them that you can arrange your m&ms in alphabetical peacefulness

  • Susan C says:

    “I am smart.”…

  • sky says:

    lmaoooo

  • Inhales Aerosol Cans says:

    Likes taking bubble baths , Makes lots of money ,Has a six pack, Nice smile and a high school diploma .

  • Chessy™ says:

    is the 2nd cumin of jesus

  • Shi-Tia says:

    How about tell them, that you are unbelievably truthful!! That would be the largest lie of all, and that you would never cheat on her. Eventhough you will probably be f****** her sister with your first date anyway.

  • GymRat#1 says:

    your looking for someone with herpies so that you dont spred your disease but can still delight in a excellent sex life and can loose your virginity

  • emmaaa ? says:

    your personality and your wellbeing and things you’re excellent at.

    omg that is soo cool taht you beat him at a chess match! ahah :)

  • Jan says:

    That you need a date to the inaugural ball

  • Stephanie says:

    That you liked “The Notebook”.

  • C'MON MAN..DEVILS!!! says:

    taught George W Bush how to speak in public, lmao

  • Pretty Girls Make Graves says:

    Tall, dark, and handsome. Learned fire, invented books. Cured AIDS.

    In the event of you really using any of these, I’d hope the women would at least be smart enough to not believe this?

  • Stacy J says:

    Say you were really the one who invented electricity and that thomas Edison was just some drunk, jealous ex that stole your thunder

  • ClevisD says:

    Women don’t care about that s*it — just say you like watching sunsets, you like candle light dinners on the beach and you weep at weddings.
    Oh, and you also have to be over six feet tall, dark eyes and 170 pounds.

    (the damn ho’s…..)

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